We were on the farm for Labor Day weekend and enjoyed some of the most perfect weather ever for camping out, playing baseball, fishing, swimming, roasting hot dogs, and star gazing from the back of a straw-filled wagon at night. We also had a great time with Mom and Dad hosting friends of theirs from Chicago (of course, Peaches was a huge hit).
As nature's beauty tends to inspire, our 11-year-old ended up writing the first draft of her descriptive paragraphs project about the weekend. Folks, we may have another writer on our hands (though out of curiosity, I went to I Write Like and plugged in the paragraphs below for fun; the analysis came back as "Stephen King," which was a little disturbing, I suppose, but nevertheless a nice title tie-in to the picture above). Enjoy.
"I felt the sharp rocks sting my bare feet as I walked across the gravel driveway that led to the door of my grandparents' house. The feel of the wind made me calm, as the glowing sun shone upon me. My lungs were filled with fresh country air. I could smell the pine trees. I admired the lovely patterns on each and every flower. The smooth blades of grass soothed my aching feet as I skipped across the homemade baseball field that my cousins and I loved.
I heard the birds singing their sweet songs, and the rustle of the breeze as it played between the tall stalks of corn. When I camped outside that night, the cicadas chirped, as the woodpeckers plowed into a tree. It was all a natural lullaby. My aunt and I took a stroll down to the pond where the trees were formed into the most perfect shade. We watched the pond as the ripples of water floated across the surface to the other side. I picked soybeans and snacked all the way home. As I jumped in my van, I stared out the window as the corn waved goodbye."
Ummm...WOW! Tell here when she writes her first book, I know a place that will sell it.
Posted by: nickg | September 11, 2010 at 09:51 AM
that is fantastic! She writes better than my university students.
Posted by: Jake Aharonian | September 11, 2010 at 10:46 AM
You make your Grandma Char proud, Miss Maddie!
Posted by: Char Dunham | September 11, 2010 at 02:48 PM
Hmmm. I tell my students to use specific detail. Check. I tell them to cover every sense and tell readers what we would hear, smell,and feel. Check. I tell my kids to use metaphor. Check. I tell my kids to use personification. Check.
Bravo! Can't wait to teach (or learn from) her in high school!
Posted by: Ann | September 12, 2010 at 04:03 PM
That looks just like my back yard. :)
Posted by: Jess | September 13, 2010 at 09:09 AM